Let’s assume for a moment that you have interactions with humans other than your mom, your one friend who has a jet ski, and Taco Bell Brenda. If you are a moderately functioning member of the Earth, you’ve likely been the middleman between person A (we’ll call him Sam) and person B (we’ll call her Diane). Usually, this is how you roll:
1- You are talking to Sam
2- Diane walks up
3- You continue talking to Sam, giving Diane a quick bro-nod.
4- Diane makes awkward eye-contact with Sam, has the should I stay or should I go moment, and continues to stand there waiting for you to do the deed.
5- Your conversation with Sam about a “sweet Hogwarts Lego set” wraps up and you, finally, turn and say, “Oh, what’s up Diane” – Sam now stands awkwardly while Diane agrees that TRON should be remade – asap.
Okay, really men, you’ve got to get the whole introducing people to each other thing down. Like many other subtle points of etiquette, it will go a long way in helping others take you seriously, not to mention that those in your orbit will feel valued – which is good if you want to procreate.
Here are some pointers:
-Take a moment and give a brief intro of each person. Make sure you include a little how you know that person sentence and, at least, give the first name. For example: “Oh hey, Zack, this is Kelly. Zack and I are both in the Bowling With Mom league I was telling you about, Kelly got me into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – I’m really glad you guys are finally meeting.”
-Be honest about forgetting names because it’s more important for you to look dumb than for them to feel uncomfortable. I would suggest self-deprecating humor here: “Oh man, I suck, I wasn’t paying attention when you told me your name 25 times. I have end-stage A.D.D., they’re calling in Hospice for me…etc., etc.”
-If you’re introducing your lady-friend (assuming you could ever get one), say her name before her title. For example, “Dude with a jet ski, this is Gretchen, my wife.” Now, I know this isn’t a common practice, but think about it, is it more important that they know she’s your wife or her own, unique person? You better be saying the latter.