quit playing the celebrity crush game.

3 May

You know the game, don’t you?

Grown Man: Hey lady-friend, who’s the one celebrity you’d cheat on me with?
Lady-friend: What do you mean? Like with no strings attached? I’d just get one night with him (or her) and you wouldn’t care?
GM: Yep, no strings attached, you get a free pass with one celebrity.
LF: Wow. Well I choose [insert celebrity name] Lee Majors. How about you?
GM: Sweet, I was hoping you’d ask me. My celebrity crush is [insert celebrity name] Rue Mcclanahan.

Here’s why this game is damaging to your relationship. First, you’re a dude and you don’t compare yourself to other guys. You’re not worried that your lady-friend is checking guys out. When she says [insert celebrity name] Don Knotts, you think, “Don Knotts!? What a dork, I could kick the crap outta that guy” – then you chuckle and go about your day.

However, when you say, “I’d cheat on you with [insert celebrity name] Estelle Getty”, she’s thinking:

-What’s she got that I don’t?
-I bet he looks at a lot of women like her.
-Why would he ever cheat on me – even with a C-list celebrity?!
-I’m hurt

See the difference? Your dumb game hurts your lady-friend – even if she seems ultra cool about it and plays along. Listen man, I know Bea Arthur is super cute – but you’ve got to overt your gaze towards the one girl in the planet who will actually sleep with you.

P.S. Betty White rules.

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2 Responses to “quit playing the celebrity crush game.”

  1. thoughtsappear 4 May 2010 at 2:35 pm #

    I’m pretty sure this is the best post ever. How did you get so smart?

    • you're a grown man 4 May 2010 at 2:54 pm #

      You are kind. I’m really glad you thought the post had merit. Also, thanks a ton for reading! I wasn’t sure anyone was.

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